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EPL: Transfer Rumour Roundup

August 16th, 2013 by G Waldorf

We start today’s EPL transfer rumour round up with the news that Manchester United have taken a break from not buying Cesc Fabregas and moaning about having a tough start to the season, to trying to buy either Mezut Ozil from Real Madrid or former Black Eyed Peas artist Willian from Anzhi Makhachkala.

The more ludicrous rumour which simply will not go away is that Cristiano Ronaldo (CR7) is definitely going back to Manchester United because Antonio Valencia has given up the number 7 shirt in favour of 25. For some hacks, the contract is as good as written.

One player United will be buying is Everton’s Manchester based comedy wig seller’s dream Marouane Fellaini, whilst publically Everton are saying very little, what they are saying is that United won’t get him cheap. In EPL terms that means “United are buying him and we can nibbled a few extra million out of them”

Manchester United’s latest EPL odds 2013 / 2014 are $3.50 where they find themselves behind both Chelsea ($3.25) and Manchester City ($3.25) in the betting.

Chelsea meanwhile along with self publicist manager Jose Mourinho seem to have switched attention away from Wayne Rooney towards the athleticism of Samuel Eto’o. Eto’o's (?) club, the aforementioned Anzhi Makhachkala are having somewhat of a clear out after deciding to downgrade their annual spending by about 90%. Eto’o, believed to be the world’s second best paid player behind Messi (or Ronaldo depending which newspaper you read), is said to be keen to join in former Inter boss at Stamford Bridge.

Roma striker and Italy international Pablo Osvaldo is the latest player said to be interesting Tottenham, who are said to be close to a $30m deal. Spurs seem to be spending the Gareth Bale money before he has even been sold, which surely puts Real Madrid (or Manchester United if believe in fairies and goblins) in a stronger bargaining position. Spurs have never been big spenders, but are dealing out flipping great wodges of cash to teams all over Europe.

Keep check on who has gone where with our EPL transfer watch feature.

Quick summary of the rest of the gossip:

Arsenal to switch attention to Swansea’s Michu if their pursuit of Luiz Suarez fails, which it will do.

Arsenal to buy Swansea defender Ashley Williams in a $20m deal, so they can save money on the delivery charge by shipping him along with Michu.

West Ham striker Modibo Maiga (no I hadn’t either) is to be loaned to 1990′s pop band St Etienne, as Big Sam tries to buy Hugo Almeida from Besiktas.

David Luiz is not joining Barcelona from Chelsea, as Jose Mourinho has issued a hands off warning. He clearly pays attention to them, and respects the position of a club who say a player is not for sale. So expect Barcelona to make a public statement that it is “Luiz or bust” and talk to every available member of the press about how important it is that Luiz gets first team football in his desired position in a World Cup season.

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